Boys and Girls and being Just between the children with spending - Shaykh Uthaymeen
The intended meaning in the two verses (regarding) male and female children
Allaah says: “Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, (al-banoon) children…” and in another verse Allaah says: “Wealth and (al-banoon) children are the beauty of the life of this world…” Is the intended meaning of the word al-banoon (children) in the first verse and the second verse general (meaning all children) or is it specific to males?
"The intended meaning of al-baneen in these two verses and in other than them, also from the speech of the Arabs in general, are male (children) only because He said banoon (male children) and He (also) said banaat (female children). So the banaat are a category from mankind and the banoon are (from) the second category of mankind, therefore they both are two (different) categories from mankind.
أَمۡ لَهُ ٱلۡبَنَـٰتُ وَلَكُمُ ٱلۡبَنُونَ (٣٩
"Or has He (Allâh) only (al banaat) daughters and you have (al-banoon) sons?"
And from what is known is that man is connected to sons more than they are to daughters. And with this it is an obligation upon man to be just between male and female children. Just as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم
“Have taqwa of Allaah and be just between your children”
In relation to this I would like to clarify that it is obligatory upon man when giving to his children that he is just between them. So he gives the male (child) a share equal to that of two females. Therefore if he gives the male (child) 100 riyals/dollars for example, then he must give the female (child) 50 riyals/dollars. This is in relation to the giving which is donated (like gifts). As for the spending (upon them), then justice in this regard is that one spends upon everyone in accordance to the need of the person. This differs in relation to the condition of the child. So if you have children that have reached the age of marriage and they are in need of it, then it is binding upon you to marry them if you have the ability to do so and you will not give the others which have not reached the age of marriage like you will give to those who have. This is because this is from the angle of the need in spending. Also if one of the children becomes sick and requires treatment and you spend on that treatment, then it is not binding that you give the others the same as you spent on the sick (child) because this is from the angle of the need to spend. Therefore the importance is (knowing) that it is obligatory upon the man to be just between his children in what is considered gifts. As for that which is meant for the need of spending then to every person from them, or rather to every one of them you give that which he needs."
لمصدر: سلسلة فتاوى نور على الدرب > الشريط رقم [184
الشيخ صالح عثيمين رحمه الله